Application form for the guru diploma

In order to stop the proliferation of non-authorized, dangerous gurus, the following application form has been made. Fill in the form by putting "Y" (yes) or "N" (no) behind a question, and send to the address below.

A: originality

1. i was ordained as a guru by my guru who was ordained by his guru who was ... // ... ordained by god himself
2. all members of my lineage become gurus after having meditated for 30 years, if they insist
3. i can see in the dark better than a cat so i am one with enlightened vision (rishi)
4. 1, 2 and 3 apply but i prefer to ignore the issue, as a token of calculated humbleness

B: study

1. i have studied one belief system and received the highest degree but understand others
2. i have studied all belief systems and have the highest degrees for them, diplomas are kept in the akasha records.
3. i underwent at least 13 reincarnations, of which 6 were in Atlantis and Lemuria, and 1 on Mars, so i didn't need to study
4. 1, 2 and 3 apply but i prefer to ignore the issue, as a token of educated humbleness

C: Effectiveness

1. a follower gets enlightened when looking into my eyes uninterrupted during less than ten minutes
2. a visitor of my satsangh gets visions of the astral world within ten minutes
3. a reader of the texts published by my lineage can continue his / her study in the atral world at no extra cost
4. 1, 2 and 3 apply but i prefer to ignore the issue, as a token of practical humbleness

D: powers

1. ppl, dogs, you name it, having a fight get peaceful when i'm within 20 meters distance from them
2. light bulbs start to shine when i'm within 10 meters distance from them
3. i always get invited for the Sunday brunch with Buddha, Jesus, Krishna, Lao Tzu and Mohammed
in the capital of the astral world, to hold a lecture and to give a summary of what happens on earth
4. 1, 2 and 3 apply but i prefer to ignore the issue, as a token of otherworldly humbleness

Send the form to: Baksheesh Foundation, Milky Way 33A Div MLM, Astral Cashcow Gate 23B, Port C don' forget to include $1,000 for your diploma!

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